Top 3 Hybrids That Make Me Want to Pollute the Environment – part I

Editorial : September 3, 2008

Why does saving the environment have to be so ugly? Is it a requirement that every hybrid has to look like something from a made for Sci-fi Channel movie? Every time I pass one on the street I half expect to find Casper Van Dien behind the wheel. Better technology is all well and good, but if it comes at the cost of driving the equivalent of an electric shaver you can count me out. Just looking at a Prius makes me want to drive the nastiest, gas guzzling beast I can lay hands on and burn through tires like they’re made of Bubble Yum. And while you’re probably thinking I sound like a shallow, mother-nature-hating jackass (and you’re not far off), take a look at these cars and tell me they wouldn’t make you proud to pollute.

1. The Toyota Prius. The battery for this little baby is advertised as lasting as long as the life of the car, which if you’re anything like me you’ll be praying for a mercy killing by the first mile. I kid, I kid. Honestly, for the price and the horsepower, the Prius isn’t that bad of a car. It’s just so damn ugly. Little known fact: according to engineer Walter Whitwicky, the Prius is the first car that crash test dummies have refused to ride in. True story.

2. The Honda Insight. Honda stopped production of the Honda Insight as of September 2006. Less than 2,000 Insights were sold in 2005, and they fell below 1,000 in 2006. Honda stated that this was due to their strategic marketing plans to introduce a smaller hybrid in 2009 and had absolutely nothing to due with the fact that the Insight was about as much fun as a nuclear holocaust. Sure it may get 70+ mpg, but do you really want to be seen driving something like that? I didn’t think so.

3. Honda’s 2009 Mystery Hybrid. Pop quiz: you’ve just built the ugliest car known to man and sold less than 3,000 units in two years. What do you do? Well, if you’re anything like Honda, you release something almost as hideous as their last collosal failure, the Insight. While we’re not sure what Honda’s calling this one yet, it might as well be the Insight 2.0 — bigger, badder, and uglier. Hat tip to Jalopnik for originally leaking the story and providing pictures of what will no doubt be the ugliest car of 2009.

Perhaps if car companies would design a decent looking, affordable hybrid, car enthusiasts might be more interested in driving them. But then again, considering hybrid technology isn’t as eco-friendly as it’s made out to be, maybe consumers are right in not buying them. Check out part two of our hybrid blog to find out why.