Editorial | Humor : September 23, 2008
Those of you that frequent the shop have probably already met our technicians Ben, Bobby, John, and Tim (and if you haven’t check them out here) but what about the rest of the guys and girls of National Speed? Peek behind the curtain and behold the astonishing, fantastic, and in the case of Jordan, just plain weird employees of National Speed.
Alias: Short Round
Vince is our badass graphic designer, which means he colors within the lines, and if he doesn’t he can make up a cool excuse for why he didn’t. “It’s like…artistic, man.” He also gets major cool points for looking like Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Dennis is our accountant and keeps track of how many Red Bull IOU’s everybody owes. With the amount of caffeine around here it’s pretty much a full time job. Then again so is keeping up with James and his daily trips to Zaxby’s. The man is serious about his chicken.
Alias: The Parts Guy
Shane is the Director of Vendor Relations & Logistics or as he likes to put it, “the parts guy.” He grew up on the mean streets of Detroit and from looking at his picture doesn’t he just scream thug life? It takes an original gangster to drive a Slimer-green Nissan 240 SX.
Alias: The Zaxby
When he’s not eating at Zaxby’s, James serves as National Speed’s Chief Financial Officer. He has over 10 years experience in the financial industry, as well as over 4 years experience as a successful entrepreneur in the retail sector. Just don’t ask him how to work the fax machine.
Alias: Space Hamster
Casey is our over-caffeinated Copywriter/Media Specialist, which basically means he sits at his desk surfing MySpace when he should be writing. He’s an expert at pretending to work and has an unhealthy obsession with all things movie related. His Ford Focus is the envy of everyone at National Speed.
Nathan Snell (Schnell)
Alias: The Baron
Nathan is the Vice President of Web Development, but don’t let the fancy title fool you. Beneath the corporate veneer is a stone cold operative highly trained in hand-to-hand combat, cage fighting, and clerical efficiency. He may drive a K.I.A. but that’s because he always kills in action.
Alias: Office Ninja
Josh is our resident Web Developer and has the stillness of a praying mantis. Seriously, watching him work is like an exercise in Zen efficiency. He’s the ninja of National Speed. You don’t even realize he’s there until he materializes out of thin air. He’s that talented.
What doesn’t Nina do around here? Besides putting up with a shop full of guys, Nina is our Executive Assistant and a big New Kids on the Block fan. Don’t hold that against her though. What she lacks in musical taste she more than makes up for in cars — the 2010 Chevy Camaro SS will be hers.
Alias: Speed Walker
Scott is our marketing intern and the only guy cool enough to rock a pink turbo. He skates, he races, and he had his picture taken with Jessica Barton. Too bad she doesn’t date guys that drive ’81 civics…or does she?
Jordan is a giant and devours small cities in his spare time. Working as our Performance Consultant he practically lives at the shop. From the moment the customer walks in the door, to the moment they walk out, everything in between is the Performance Consultant’s responsibility.