Editorial | Humor : November 17, 2008
If the movies are any indication of what’s to come, where in the hell are my flying cars?!?
For decades, Hollywood has teased audiences with hypnotic visions of an automotive future which has sadly yet to come true. It’s incredibly frustrating to walk into a movie theater and have your mind blown by fantastic images of flying cars only to come crashing back to reality on the ride home in your Ford Focus station wagon. Talk about a buzz kill.
Think about how awesome it would be to hop behind the wheel of one of these bad boys and fly to work. It would certainly make your morning commute a helluva lot more interesting, not to mention faster…unless you take the Magical School Bus, which would just be stupid.
1) Delorean from Back to the Future. “Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” Anybody that doesn’t think this is the coolest flying car since Chitty Chitty Bang Bang needs to drive 88mph and rethink their decision. Not only can the Delorean DMC-12 travel back in time (convenient for creating paradoxes and multiple sequels), but it also runs on garbage. Thanks Mr. Fusion!
2) Spinner from Blade Runner. While Blade Runner is heralded as the crowning achievement of sci-fi cinema, nobody ever mentions how badass the cars are. The Spinner police cruiser driven by Harrison Ford is pants-wettingly awesome. If you’ve got to bring the law to the lawless in a dystopian wasteland, you might as well do it in style. Get yourself a Spinner!
3) The Jetson’s Flying Pod-thingy. While I’m sure Flying Pod-thingy isn’t the technical term, the Jetson’s always had a pimp ride. Who wouldn’t want to fly around with smoking hot Jane riding shotgun and the ability to eject Elroy and Judy when the mood strikes? What I wouldn’t give for ejectable seats and a hot cartoon wife…
4) Taxi Cab from the Fifth Element. Leave it to the French to create a taxi cub that actually looks cool. This futuristic piece of cool comes courtesy of visionary French director Luc Besson from his crazy and overlooked Bruce Willis actioneer, The Fifth Element. Not only can it fly but the backseat once carried a half-naked Milla Jovovich (yummy!), which pretty much makes it the greatest car ever created.
5) The Mach 5 from Speed Racer. While the Mach 5 doesn’t technically fly, it’s able to flip around and drive up walls, which is close enough. Plus I have an unhealthy love of all things Speed Racer related and the only other flying car that I could think to include on the list is from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and that’s just not going to happen. So you get the Mach 5 instead. And honestly, in the long and storied history of Speed Racer, I’m sure at some point the Mach 5 has probably flown anyway. So there, take that haters!